OMG! These 14 Sex Horror Stories Will Make Your Boring Sex Life Seem Amazing

1. The Pool Poop Balls

“My boyfriend and I were at my grandparents’ house, and went in the basement to ‘play a game of pool.’ When we started having sex, he decided it’d be a good idea to shove a pool ball up my butt. I was horrified and in so much pain. I had to go upstairs, walk by my grandmother while I had a pool ball in my butt, and poop it out in the toilet. While I was on the toilet, I found out my boyfriend put a golf ball up there too.”

—Marina Ruffles, Facebook

2. Falling Teeth

“One night I was really getting it on with this girl while I was on top. I gritted my teeth and my false tooth fell inside of her mouth. She didn’t laugh and straight-up asked me what fell in her mouth. When I told her, she put it aside, and we went right back to it.”

—Greg Buenagua, Facebook

3. Airborn Fuck Buddy

” I got a little bored when I was-doing the deed- with my friend. I decided I wanted to be on top, so I used my feet to carefully push him away. The poor guy went flying across my room and smacked his head on my bedside table. He landed with his legs in the air, ass slightly raised, and a lampshade on his head.”

—Lara Bettie Rage, Facebook

4. Mid Orgasim Prayer

“I was dating this really hot Brazilian man at the time. One night, he was getting frisky and hitting all of the right spots. After we both achieved the desired results, he started to recite an Ave Maria prayer in Portuguese. It was really random because I’m not even Christian!”

—Maggie May, Facebook

5.  The holy Balls

“I once went home with a guy after we went on a few dates. I eventually found out he gauged his ballsack (like how some people have in their ears) and he had a two-inch hole between his balls. He wanted me to stick my finger through his ballsack and pull hard. I never called him again.”

—Amelia Corwin, Facebook

6.  Poop Filled Hairbrush

“I went home with a guy after dancing at a bar. Everything seemed normal until he got up mid-hookup and handed me a hairbrush and a huge bottle of lotion. He said he wanted me to put the hairbrush handle up his butt while giving him a blow job.

laurenv44ab101ce

7.  Burning Fingers

“The sex was going well until my boyfriend started fingering me. My downstairs region started burning. We had just come back from Buffalo Wild Wings where he successfully ate the 12 Blazin’ Wings, and then stuck those unwashed fingers into my vagina. It burned so much that I went numb and had to ice myself. ”

BernieLeigh

8. Spanking Isn’t For Everyone

I was on top of my husband and he went to slap my ass. He missed and accidentally slapped his balls pretty hard. I almost passed out from laughing so hard. That was almost three years ago and he hasn’t tried to slap my ass in bed since.”

—Shannon Joleen Hutto, Facebook

9.  The First Time

“The first time I ever had sex, my mom walked in on me. I jumped off my girlfriend and took the sheet with me while she was spread eagle on the bed. I swore to my mom that it wasn’t what she thought was happening. My mom had nothing to say except: ‘She doesn’t have a tan line. Why did she have her socks on?’ I never saw my girlfriend again.”

—Mike Vance, Facebook

10. The Sneezer

“My girlfriend was not a swallower during oral, so after I had an orgasm, she looked up at me with a mouthful of my goods. I said, ‘Well, at least I didn’t fart,’ and she promptly laughed. Unfortunately when she laughed she sniffed my fluids out her nose, which dangled there for a second before the burning caused her to throw her head back. It landed squarely in her open eye. I’ve never laughed so hard in my entire life.”

—Daphne Dorman, Facebook

11.  Wet Sex

“I slipped as I got out of the shower during shower-sex. One hand landed on my wet boyfriend, and the other managed to grab the shower curtain that couldn’t hold my weight. I spun around and smashed my ribs onto the faucet. The next morning I learned I cracked a few of my ribs.”

kaylab35

12. Batman

“I had sex with a guy who once said: ‘Call me Batman. Call me the Dark Knight.’Then, afterwards, he peed out of his bedroom window that faced the front yard. Why?!”

StephanieHack

13. Attack Of The Fart

“My college boyfriend and I were having sex on New Year’s Eve. Just as he was climaxing, he farted loudly. He was so embarrassed that he leaned back to roll away from me, but he was still inside of me and holding onto my hips. So he pulled me off of the bed with him and we fell on the floor.”

jennab4c3a1cc0e

14. A Fetish Full Of Phlegm

“I had an ex who liked to suck zits off of girls’ bodies, and use their phlegm for his personal pleasure while touching himself. It was gross.”

chertsy1

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